I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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