i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
