I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
But break dance skills will only take you so far
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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