I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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