Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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