I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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