your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
