there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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