But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
