it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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