DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i will never coherently bang her
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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