i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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