I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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