Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
