Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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