I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
