They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
