it hurts more in the daytime
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
