I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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