As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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