So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
