She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
