So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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