What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
