how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
