I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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