Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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