Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
