he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
