ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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