You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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