By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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