she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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