party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
