I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
