I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
