is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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