Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
