on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
