So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
