so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
