I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
