The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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