Where did you get a picture of my penis
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
