if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
