It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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