Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
