Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
They have beer where we have blood.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
