yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
