afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
