yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
