i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
